I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Let me tell you why. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. This is a noble endeavor. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. It's nothing bad or unusual. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. . I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Fascinating post in two regards. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. 3. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. I admire your ability to ___________. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. And why should I stop using this phrase? Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? All Rights Reserved. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Youre my friend, not my parents! Its powerful. "I know how you feel". They didn't have to do that. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Why is this such a contentious phrase? So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Basically, its an ambiguous expression. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. ". I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. 6. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Can "me too" be used here? "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. Hosted by Pressable. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. that he harrassed them or . To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. Look him in the eyes and smile. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Who is saying this to whom? Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. It is arrogant. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. If you're a friend, it's friendly. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. It does not take it away from them. But to be proud of them? Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. How might you feel as the worker? Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" But worse, my friend thanked them. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Health Gap. Thanks, buddy! She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. Lost Index. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. That makes you a living miracle. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. 10. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. Youre the first person who is happy with it. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. Patricia Velasquez. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! 7. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). 6. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . All rights reserved. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Well, that truly makes my day. Don't remind them how far they've come. 2. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. 15. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Im so glad to hear that. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. No. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. Youll feel mad and resentful. 10. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? And Ill encourage them to be proud. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. 12. 2. Immune Response. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. And Im so ashamed of you. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? 13. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. Great to hear this. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. Happy I did it, finally! Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. You must log in or register to reply here. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . Compare: "Oh bear!" 7. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. They just say it. Without you, I couldnt do it. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. 4. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. I believe you. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers.
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